Abby: I think I'm actually seeing some of that Hank Moody mojo up close and personal.
Hank: Is my dong out?
Hank: Revenge is a dish best served with my d**k.
Sasha: Once you f**ked my mother my vagina pretty much sealed right up.
Hank: So you're like a Barbi now?
Abby: Oh my god you're so generous and sweet.
Hank: Yeah I know I'm going to make some White Power guy an excellent bitch.
Movie Karen: Why does he love her so much? I mean what is it about her?
Hank: I don't know. I don't think I've ever known. I think sometimes you get it right the first time and then it defines your life. It becomes who you are.
Hank: I'll always be buzzing around like a gnat, like a well-hung gnat, with a dream.
Becca: Dad do we look like the kind of girls who are into American Idol?
Hank: No not so much, actually you like girls who would hurt girls who were into American Idol.
Hank: It's true I am kind of retarded, but I'm also kind of amazing.
Abby: I'm obviously far too old for you.
Hank: No see that's where you're wrong, I like me a mature woman. Gross feet, stretch marks, nipple hair I did that s**t, dig it all. Love that s**t, not that you have any of that s**t, stuff.